Debate School Part 1: What am I Doing? I Think I Should Just Shut Up.
January 31, 2008 – 7:52 am
I come up with these crazy ideas all the time. Some flash of light will hit my brain and before you know it my passions are running rampant down some winding path of self-discovery or philosophical experimentation. It’s these meandering muses that get me in trouble.
It’s not because I’m some revolutionary but because my communication sux. I am clumsy with my case and my arguments are often poorly presented. I use emotionally charged words and immature approaches. I speak before I think. In short I need to learn the art of debate.
What the heck is debate?
I guess if I’m going to learn to debate I need to know what it is. According to Wikipedia debate is:
…a formal method of interactive and position representational argument. Debate is a broader form of argument than logical argument, since it includes persuasion which appeals to the emotional responses of an audience, and rules enabling people to discuss and decide on differences, within a framework defining how they will interact.
My motivation in debate is usually to discuss a topic that I am thinking about. So according to this definition my real desire is not for a debate. In fact, I think my intention is just to be heard most of the time. Yikes. That’s pretty dumb. If I’ve never mentioned what a retarded idiot I am to you personally please let this be my public acknowledgment of that fact.
Decide what you want before you do it
I guess what I need to learn from this lesson today is if I don’t want a debate I need to just write it down in my journal. I think it’s kind of arrogant to just expect people to listen to my thoughts without any form of opposing perspective (debate or otherwise). If I’m not ready to debate then it just needs to stay personal. Gosh this brings up a lot of issues.
Photograph by glueslabs
6 Responses to “Debate School Part 1: What am I Doing? I Think I Should Just Shut Up.”
boss: dustin, i think you’re wrong about this.
dustin: (grind teeth) (run to his journal and writes stuff down) ok boss.
boss: also this one ain’t that good either.
dustin: (grind teeth) (run to his journal and writes more stuff) ok boss.
boss: and THIS design… i think (interrupted)
dustin: (transforms into a howling monkey and rips his journal into pieces and flings at the boss while making sharp screeching sounds) aslk djfa lskjf aklsjd flaksa klasj df ak!!!!!
(just as dustin leaps in the air to tackle the boss with sharp fangs, scene pauses and announcer appears in front of the camera)
As you can see, storing all the emotion and thoughts inside isn’t a great method. There is a way you can debate all you want without sounding offensive.
And most importantly, adjust your sensor meter based on readings you get from their faces. Indicators such as not making eye contact indicates you’re in a hostile territory and need to increase your sensors. Thank you for watching another episode of “How to not turn into a howling moneky at work.”
All you need to do is pause just a second or two before each paragraph and sensor your words so things such as “do you even know what i’m talkin about, jeese!” or “i don’t think you’re gettin this at all. how are you even working here?” don’t spill out.
By alejandro on Jan 31, 2008
That was the best. comment. evar. Really good advice for sure. One of these days I will learn to communicate like my wise Asian friend.
By Dustin Boston on Jan 31, 2008
Awwww. What can I say that Master Alejandro didn’t.
I think that you do need to be more sensitive in the way that you talk about your thoughts, but I LOVE the fact that you have so many of them! It’s part of what drew me to you. I love your brain and how passionate you are. (Even when it’s about geek stuff.sigh.)
By Mary Boston on Jan 31, 2008
So are we to debate on whether or not you should debate? My position is, NO… because I hate you. So there…
Actually, your post is very good. It’s important to look at how you approach any topic and what your motivations are. Alejandro brought up the very important point that you shouldn’t keep anything bottled up. The only thing I would add is that it’s important to recognized the difference between emotion and passion when debating any topic.
While arguing a point from a strictly emotional standpoint will never be effective, being passionate about a subject can be quite an advantage. Arguing a point with relevant information in a passionate manner can be powerful.
My other suggestion is related to the first. You have to be willing to accept that whomever you are debating with is likely to feel just as passionate about their position. Allow them that. It’s possible to be generous in a debate without giving up on your position. 99 times out of 100 neither person in a debate is going to change their position when it’s over. But if you’re willing to allow the other person their point-of-view, you will be more open to what is available to learn from that person and the overall encounter.
By Anonymous on Jan 31, 2008
btw… that last post was by me…
cerebralrunoff(dot)wordpress(dot)com
not sure why it’s showing up as anonymous… I put my info in…
By chris runoff on Jan 31, 2008
Dude! Thanks for the comments, Chris. Very insightful. I’m betting that you used OpenId didn’t you, ya little nerd.
Oh, and I hope that ninjas attack you. Wow, that sounded harsh. I hope that ninjas attack you, with flowers.
By Dustin Boston on Feb 3, 2008