4 Essential Skills That Every Aspiring Ninja Must Learn
January 17, 2008 – 8:06 amIn my quest for Ninjadom I’ve decided that the ultimate warrior must gain complete mastery of 3 important skills:
- Jumping off of or over really high things
- Scaling, walking, or running up high things
- Doing flips (especially off of high things)
- Gravity defying mid-air changes of direction
Aspiring Ninjas should wear their karate uniforms at all times to maximize their potential for carnage. As we all know, thugs cannot resist the temptation to beat up on dudes in Ninja suits. Alternatively (at least according to the above video) an aspiring Ninja can wear whatever he wants as long as he’s wearing a backpack. It is also completely acceptable and is in fact preferred by many to go without a shirt. You’ve got to be especially bad to go without a shirt though, because getting chopped with a sword would hurt more and there’s no way to hide secret weapons like smoke bombs and throwing stars.
3 Responses to “4 Essential Skills That Every Aspiring Ninja Must Learn”
Why take the stairs when you can jump down 4 stories and then roll?
By Mary Boston on Jan 17, 2008
I actually have a great suggestion for you. In Oberlin college in Ohio, you can take ninja class to become a better ninja. You learn how to climb trees, be stealthy, throw ninja star with accuracy, and sew ninja costume. My sister’s friend created/took the class himself and got legitimate college credit for it. Gotta love liberal colleges. >.<
Also keep in mind ninjas and samurais are two very different things and they actually hate each other so if you’d like to be a ninja, you should probably stop eating Samurai Sam’s food.
By alejandro on Jan 18, 2008
Yeah I think you’re right. I need to lay off on the cheap Asian food and just go with sushi. Breakfast, lunch, dinner. Mmmm.
That’s really cool that you can get college credit for becoming a ninja! Awesome.
By Dustin Boston on Jan 18, 2008